I have heard over and over again how pregnancies are all so different and it is true. I realized how important it is to respect that and communicate that understanding to any pregnant women who are going through different things. It’s easy to feel alone or just not supported if there are things that are not going how it’s “supposed” to according to society. It’s as if you become a target for anyone’s opinion or judgment on any decisions you make.
While it’s all different, there’s a couple things i would’ve enjoyed someone telling me about! perhaps these are not important details to you or you already got it figured out! Go girl, either way, I figured I’d share with you what these are.
At the beginning I had this awesome doctor who was all around so patient, informative, caring and funny! Because of the awesome health insurance system in America I wasn’t able to keep him and had to pick another doctor. My next doctor was monotone and just to the point. He was barely ever smiling and my check ups just began to be check ups. I actually didn’t have him deliver Oliver because towards the end of it, with reality setting in, It dawned on me that I had no desire to have this doctor in between my legs on the day that my life would forever change. This also leads to my next point.
- WEIGHT GAIN:
If I would’ve kept my other doctor, he would’ve been way more informative about my weight gain and what am i doing wrong or how to make sure it’s handled. I mean it is obvious that it went very wrong….and everytime I asked my doctor, he was nonchalant “you’re fine” –
Ok, I know some trolls would have a lot of things to say but first pregnancies are not always easy.
Either way, my point is the weight doesn’t just come off depending on how much you gain. 25 to 30 pounds is manageable to lose but I had gained 65 and I would’ve liked someone to explain to me instead of the common comments “you’ll lose it right away” “breastfeeding will make you lose it all” what it does is that, it definitely helps, you lose a good amount of weight right after giving birth and that is why they say to attempt to not gain too much weight so you can bounce back. My doctor looked at me as if everything was super normal and I look back and I believe that my body handled pregnancy differently and if I were guided in the right direction, I wouldn’t struggle so hard to find my body back. It’s hard to have your entire life change, but when you don’t even recognize yourself in the mirror…it’s harder.
So, here’s what i’d do differently for the next one: I won’t eat whatever I want, (which seems pretty obvious but mix it with cravings and stereotypes that a pregnant woman can and it all of a sudden becomes hard not to) I’ll do my best to workout a little more (yoga, Pilates) and just be more prudent.
- SKIN CARE:
I wasn’t informed till later that you should start using stretch marks products when you’re two months pregnant, to prevent or just hydrate your skin as much as possible. Again we’re all different so it’s just a recommendation. I wish I had used it earlier on as I only started using products when my skin started to itch which is the absolute worst! I’ve always had a really good skin and in my head I thought I’d just be fine…everything changes so much while you’re pregnant that taking extra care of your skin is super important. Changing your beauty products for skin health and make up to non chemical is also a huge plus…
- LEARNING TO BE A MOM:
Ha! this one now that I think about it, seems pretty obvious don’t it!? Well, here’s the thing, I was so obsessed with the pregnancy and making sure that everything went well, that I didn’t inform myself at all on how to be a mom. Of course there’s things that just needs to be confronted to you for a learning process but I realized that when I got home with the baby (which was surreal) I was like “now what?” and it hit me that I didn’t know anything about breastfeeding for example. So my advice is to ask moms and follow moms on social media for an idea of what is to be expected! I spoke to only pregnant women during my pregnancy (to my defense I didn’t have a lot of mom friends) and as soon as I had Oliver, I realized “oh my! where are my mom lady friends at?” it is definitely helpful to surround yourself of other moms for advice, talks, encouragement and just feeling supported by someone who knows how it feels! Motherhood can be a lonely process and that’s why I find such relief connecting with moms and even writing this blog!!! Which by the way if you made this far, thank you so much for reading!
- EMBRACING YOUR BODY AND LIFE CHANGES
Pregnancy was amazing but also stressful. My body was changing so much, my hormones were real and within all this your life every day also becomes different. It’s a process that was difficult for me to go through. The stressful idea of how to handle all of it and also make sure you’re doing everything right can be a lot on one person. Your partner can relate but it’s also hard for them to really put themselves in your shoes, I mean I don’t blame them! I just really had to embrace my body and be at peace with how things were going. my relationships all around were starting to change. I think that working on yourself to salvage your identity and accept the changes is part of the growth that needs to be done for a stronger you and to your loved ones and your baby.
check out my amazing photographer that took my maternity pics! click here.
Here are a few of my pregnancy looks that you can find at the bottom of the page and the exact products I used! By the way, the nursing bra from target is literally my all time favorite. So Comfortable and it comes in lavender and black, when you’re breastfeeding you want to have soft, comfy bras….believe me! I hope you’ll get inspired and that I can help.